The spring season is a great time to get out and enjoy the fresh air, but it can also be a good time to reflect on your relationships and how you want them to grow.

Spring cleaning can be an excellent metaphor for relationship maintenance; if you want your relationship to blossom in the summer months, then it’s important to make some changes now. Here are six ways that you can use this time of year as an opportunity for deepening connections with your partner:

Implement The Daily 5-Minute Check In!

I also call this “Couples Couch Time.”

We all get busy. However, when we do not make time to intentionally connect with our partner, and we let the day-to-day grind get in our way, we can feel far apart from each other, fast. Below is an activity that I recommend to many of the partners that I work with, to help improve daily connection, include a gratitude practice, and ensure that both our own and our partner’s needs and wants are being heard.

Snuggle up with your partner for this 5-minute exercise! Face your partner and take turns asking one another the following questions:

  1. What is one thing you are proud of yourself for today?
  2. What is something you want from me?
  3. What is something you need from me? (HINT: These can be the same, but I challenge you to also consider how they might be different!)
  4. What is one thing about me, or about our relationship, that you are grateful for?

That’s it! Make an effort to find five minutes each day, no phones, no kids, no pets, and check in with each other with these four questions. I am willing to bet you’ll be smelling the fresh flowers in no time!

Get Outside Your Comfort Zone

  • Get outside your comfort zone. If there’s one thing that can help you get out of your comfort zone, it’s getting out of the house! Try something new–whether it’s trying a new restaurant (checkout Offline Durham for a unique and novel way to do this!), hobby, or sport (pickleball, anyone?) –or even learning something entirely new.
  • The key here is to put yourself in situations where you have no idea what will happen next and are forced to learn as you go along. This is how we grow as people and deepen our connection with our partners (and ourselves). For example, check out Fun City Scavenger Hunt in Raleigh, North Carolina!
  • Near Eastern North Carolina? Take a hot air balloon ride with Carolina High Hot Air Balloon Company – What’s more exciting than soaring high above the ground with your partner by your side?

Find A Way To Play Together

The best way to play together is to find something that you both enjoy. Try playing a game, taking a walk and talking about your day, or going on a date night. If you’re looking for something new and exciting, try learning something new together!

If your partner isn’t into sports or puzzles (or whatever), don’t force them into it–instead find something else that works for both of you. Maybe your partner loves reading books but hates playing video games; perhaps there’s an activity at the park where they can read while the kids play soccer nearby? Or maybe your partner rather watch TV than go hiking all day long – that’s okay too! Compromise is key. Maybe you can make a fun dinner together, and then binge-watch Love is Blind or Perfect Match on Netflix and play “spot the unhealthy relationship patterns” together! Is that just me? Okay, okay.

Get Creative And Take Some Risks

Spring is the perfect time to get creative and take some risks with your partner. Here are some ideas:

  • Make a new recipe together, then make it again for friends and family.
  • Try a new sport together (like rock climbing at Triangle Rock Club or horseback riding at Dead Broke Farm in Raleigh).
  • Take an overnight trip somewhere you’ve never been before, just the two of you! I LOVE Getaway House in Asheboro, North Carolina. It is the perfect place to disconnect from your phone and reconnect with your partner! And they even have a 15% off code for Soring Renewal – how fitting!
  • Go on an adventure road trip with no destination in mind–just explore until something catches your eye (or you get sick of sitting in the car!)

If all else fails, there’s always dancing! Whether it’s dance lessons at a studio (consider Arthur Murray Dance Centers in downtown Raleigh, North Carolina) or ballroom dancing at home while listening to music, getting down on the floor will definitely bring back some energy into your relationship

Do Something For Your Relationship That You’ve Been Putting Off

Maybe it is time for that trip to the Grand Canyon. Or, maybe that all-inclusive Cancun resort really is calling your name. Perhaps you and your partner are sick and tired of waking up with an achy back, and it’s time to invest in that new mattress you’ve been talking about for years. Or, maybe this is the spring to put in that vegetable garden!

Either way, talk to your partner about what you want to do. Make sure that whatever it is, they want to be a part of it too! If they don’t share your enthusiasm or interest in the activity, it might not be worth doing at all. The point is not just that you spend time together but also that both of you feel engaged by the experience and excited about doing it again in the future.

It’s important that both partners feel comfortable financially before embarking on any big spending plans together–and even if there isn’t quite enough cash on hand yet for those trips abroad or new mattress, work together to create a plan on how to save for this goal! SMART goals can really help with this, check out our blog on goal-setting here!

Focus On Your Partner’s Strengths (And Your Own)

When in a bit of a rut, it can be easy to focus on everything your partner does wrong, and everything that is wrong in your relationship. And frankly, I get it. It is so easy to focus on things like laundry piles and dishes left in the sink overnight. And also, no one has ever felt closer to their partner by being chastised, or getting chastised, for a dirty dish.

Instead of focusing on what your partner does wrong or could improve upon, try thinking about what makes them great: their sense of humor? How hardworking they are? How kind they are to others? That they still make you coffee each morning? When you are able to shift your focus from criticism and contempt, to appreciation and gratitude, you will notice a near-immediate shift in your partner, and in your own mood and relationship satisfaction.

Put Your Relationship First! Get Support From An Online Couples Therapist in North Carolina Today!

Spring is a good time to make some changes in your relationship. If you’ve been feeling like something’s missing in your relationship, now is the time to figure out what it is and how to fix it! It can be hard to get started with these kinds of conversations because we’re so used to doing things the way they always have been done before–but this season offers us an opportunity for renewal that we should take advantage of before summer rolls around again.

Be Bold Psychology and Consulting is here for you. Online couples therapy in North Carolina may be able to help you reconnect, rebuild, or improve your connectedness!

Get started by following these steps:

Other Therapy Services We Offer Online, and in Durham, North Carolina

All of our therapy services are open to all people, races, abilities, sizes, religious beliefs, and spiritual backgrounds.

Our understanding and affirming therapists offer inclusive individual therapycouples counseling, and group therapy. We offer specialized care for not only the LGBTQIA+ community but also the BIPOC community and anyone who is neurodivergent. The mental health services we offer include trauma therapy,  PTSD treatment, and grief counseling. In addition to therapy for chronic pain, and caregiver fatigue.

You can receive support from anywhere in North Carolina with online therapy.

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Dr. Bate leads several therapy groups, which may be accepting clients. As a PSYPACT provider, Dr. Bate can service clients in over 30 states and jurisdictions. Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) under the PSYPACT* Commission E. Passport issued 2/11/21 Mobility Number # 6459. Specialty areas: Queer and/or gender diverse folx, couples/relationships, and families. Trauma, PTSD, grief, bereavement, loss. Substance use/substance misuse, addictions. Relationship stressors and communication issues. Student-athlete stress. Court-ordered therapy and sex offender treatment. Mental health evaluations in the context of high-conflict divorce. Criminal and Civil Forensic Assessment. Email: [email protected] to schedule your free consult or request an appointment here. I help people who feel stuck, numb, or who are gripped by grief, loss, and unresolved trauma experience deeper, more fulfilling relationships and life outcomes. I assist people and families working through addiction find a path towards wellness. I work with individuals who may feel lost, scared, or alone to better understand their gender identity, sexual, relational, and romantic orientations. I also help intimate partners and families understand each other and communicate more effectively, including about matters of identity.

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