Do you ever make a decision and then question your choice?  And then change your mind, and later wonder what planet you were on in the second choice? Then, back to the first decision, but that seems so limited and short-sighted.  So you’re back to choice #2, and oh, but wait… another option shows up! And the cycle continues.

We all experience moments of self-doubt.  Whether in our personal or professional lives, second-guessing ourselves can hold us back from reaching our full potential. It’s natural to question our decisions and abilities, but it’s important to not let it consume us.

Second-guessing is the act of doubting your own decisions, thoughts, or actions.  It’s a vicious cycle; the more you second guess yourself, the more you lose confidence, leading to more second guessing… and blah-blah-blah. This cycle can lead to analysis-paralysis and indecision, making it difficult to take any action at all.

There are many reasons why we might second-guess ourselves, including a fear of failure, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence.  Additionally, negative self-talk and past experiences can contribute to the problem.

Here are some tips to help you overcome self-doubt and move forward with conviction:

Identify the root cause of your doubt: take time to understand why you’re feeling hesitant. Is it due to past experiences or external influences? By pinpointing the source of your self-doubt, you can better address it.

Reframe negative thoughts: when you catch yourself spiraling down the negative thoughts tube, recognize that there’s no cheese down that tube! Ask yourself (or a trusted friend) if those thoughts are based in reality, or it they’re just a result of self-doubt. Reframe your thoughts to be more useful and constructive.

Surround yourself with people who support and believe in you. Seek out positive and uplifting relationships and distance yourself from those who bring you down.

Celebrate your accomplishments: keep a record of your accomplishments, even as small as “I made a kick-ass cup of coffee this morning.” This can help boost your chutzpah, remind you of your capabilities, and increase your ability to take risks.

Focus on the present: worrying about the future or dwelling on the past will only increase your anxiety and make it harder to move forward. Focus on what you can control in the present moment and try to stay in the now.

Take small risks. Call that cute guy you met at Starbucks last week; ask your boss to put you on a project that you might have been overlooked for. The worst that can happen is the guy won’t be interested, or your boss will say “no.” The more “no’s” you get, the stronger your nervous system becomes as you realize the “no’s” aren’t the end of the world.

Second-guessing yourself is a common behavior that can have a significant impact on your life.  By practicing self-care, reframing negative thoughts, getting feedback from trusted sources, setting small goals, and focusing on the present, you can overcome this problem and build your confidence.  You are on the ball and deserving of success, and with the right tools, you can achieve it.

If you’re tired of the Second Guessing game, Next Generation Core gives people the tools to examine their lives and relationships, explore their talents and potential, and discover (or re-discover) their passions. Curious? Join us for an intro workshop on March 18-19 to see how somatic training can benefit you (our January intro workshop sold out!).

Our introductory weekends are an opportunity to explore Core Energetics and the potential that exists in you. Our experienced staff offers an incredible weekend of learning, growth, expansion, and inspiration. Give yourself the gift of clarity, growth, skills and confidence to build the life you want. This weekend is the first step.  Click this link for more information:

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About the Author: Barra Kahn
Barra Kahn has a life–long affinity for somatic work. She is a certified Core Energetics practitioner and a senior member of the faculty of the Institute of Core Energetics. She has been teaching yoga and doing body-work for 45 years. Committed to being a conduit for change, her training and advanced certification in Core Energetics have brought together her graduate degree in psychology and her passion for exploring the language of the body. She was a professor at George Mason University for 20 years, focusing on Nonverbal and Interpersonal Communication skills for individuals, couples, and groups. For nine years, she was on the faculty and Artistic Director of the National Conservatory of Dramatic Arts. Barra is adept at assisting the healing of deep wounds and inner conflicts by bringing practical communication skills and deep body-work to the powerful modality that is Core Energetics. Visit her website at, and

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